What’s wrong with you?

I tend to not ask myself questions I am convinced I don’t want to know the answer to, but yesterday, a rather excited salesman did it for me.

As I walked through the train station in Aarhus, with my partner in crime Rikke, we were stopped by a salesman – or he was probably more like a promoter. He offered us a sample of some coffee – I don’t even remember the brand – which I quickly declined in the following, very polite, manner:

“No thank you. I don’t like coffee at all, so I don’t drink it.”

This prompted the eager – and obviously coffee loving – promoter to exclaim:

“Don’t like coffee?! What is wrong with you?”

I just kept walking and rather jokingly Rikke and I agreed that the correct response to his question – rather than the uncomfortable pity laugh we went with – would have been:

“Where do you want me to start?”

Alas that is not what happened. But then I thought how great a blog this subject would make and here we are. I present to you: What is wrong with me – the list!

  • I don’t drink coffee (is apparently wrong)
  • I drink milk and sugar in my tea (practically a sin in Denmark)
  • I laugh at inappropriate moments – in the cinema, on the street etc.
  • My name has more than two syllables (long story, but at least my name ends with an a)
  • I fart and burp whenever I need to
  • I will shoulder-slam people who don’t move in the street
  • I speak pig-latin whenever I need to talk about strangers who annoy me
  • I’m completely mental
  • I make inappropriate jokes
  • I’m overweight (this seems to bug a lot of strangers for some reason)
  • I talk – A LOT!
  • CUMBERBUNNIES!
  • I’m a control freak
  • … who hates cleaning
  • I dislike humans
  • I listen in on strangers conversations
  • … on the bus
  • … in the street
  • … in stores
  • … at work
  • and I judge them
  • I started The Hot Celebrity Ownership Divider (with Rikke)
  • I never got it patented

In my head this list was much longer, so feel free to add more in the comments – if you know me or if you’ve read something on the blog which you think is missing.

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