I tend to not ask myself questions I am convinced I don’t want to know the answer to, but yesterday, a rather excited salesman did it for me.
As I walked through the train station in Aarhus, with my partner in crime Rikke, we were stopped by a salesman – or he was probably more like a promoter. He offered us a sample of some coffee – I don’t even remember the brand – which I quickly declined in the following, very polite, manner:
“No thank you. I don’t like coffee at all, so I don’t drink it.”
This prompted the eager – and obviously coffee loving – promoter to exclaim:
“Don’t like coffee?! What is wrong with you?”
I just kept walking and rather jokingly Rikke and I agreed that the correct response to his question – rather than the uncomfortable pity laugh we went with – would have been:
“Where do you want me to start?”
Alas that is not what happened. But then I thought how great a blog this subject would make and here we are. I present to you: What is wrong with me – the list!
- I don’t drink coffee (is apparently wrong)
- I drink milk and sugar in my tea (practically a sin in Denmark)
- I laugh at inappropriate moments – in the cinema, on the street etc.
- My name has more than two syllables (long story, but at least my name ends with an a)
- I fart and burp whenever I need to
- I will shoulder-slam people who don’t move in the street
- I speak pig-latin whenever I need to talk about strangers who annoy me
- I’m completely mental
- I make inappropriate jokes
- I’m overweight (this seems to bug a lot of strangers for some reason)
- I talk – A LOT!
- I’m a control freak
- … who hates cleaning
- I dislike humans
- I listen in on strangers conversations
- … on the bus
- … in the street
- … in stores
- … at work
- and I judge them
- I started The Hot Celebrity Ownership Divider (with Rikke)
- I never got it patented
In my head this list was much longer, so feel free to add more in the comments – if you know me or if you’ve read something on the blog which you think is missing.