I am once again on a train travelling across Jutland to go see my parents. Using public transport can be handle in two ways.”; either being annoyed with all my fellow commuters because they are truly ignorant and annoying people or going with the flow and rejoicing in the fact that I am superior to them. Today I have chosen the latter.

First I sat down opposite two girls with white, almost grey, bleached hair. They were either more hungover than what I imagine is possible even after a week-long binge or they were on something, my guess is that they were high. They were just entertaining and kept pretty much to themselves. So I laughed a bit to myself as they scrambled to find their ticket to show to the nice train lady. Afterwards we all went on with our lives.

Now I am listening to a highly entertaining phone conversation where my co-passenger is trying to explain how to take a train or bus from Vildbjerg to Herning – a fifteen minute trip, which requires pretty much nothing to figure out. Or so I thought. The train’s end station is Copenhagen which led to the following, much enlightened, sentences:

“Didde (this is undoubtedly the name of the girl on the other end of the phone), Copenhagen is in (yes she said in) Zealand.”

“Didde, Didde, Didde… Listen. How long does it take to go to Copenhagen? Yes more than three hours.”

“You just have to get off at the first stop, it will tell you when you get there, and Copenhagen is just the last stop that is why the sign says Copenhagen.”

I believe we can all safely assume that the two people having the conversation I am conveying is not the brain trust which will discover a cure for any disease.

They have moved on to discussing driving, one is apparently acquiring her drivers licence. What she finds most interesting is the fact that she can drive 130 km/h on the motorways. Because that makes me feel safe. But this subject has led to further brilliant remarks:

“Didde, Didde, Didde… Didde, Didde”

She girl on my end either really likes saying Didde’s name or Didde is a very talkative person.

“Well you said once that you would NEVER let me drive you anywhere, so guess what. I will NEVER ever drive you anywhere”

Assuming you ever get your drivers licence you ignorant girl who should not be let loose amongst regular people.

“Didde. Dumb dumb dumb dumb.”

“Dumb dumb dumb”

“But Didde, you know what? You are generally rather dumb”

I have heard the very great “friend” on this side call poor Didde dumb around 20 times now. Poor Didde. Though she does sound rather dumb.

I will end this rant, which could have included a lot more brilliant quotes, but I don’t type fast enough, on a last quote:

“Didde, Zealanders are just wanna be Swedes.”