I want to kill Charlie!

So you know Charlie, right? Charlie is my computer and he is old. So old that he will be five in January. He has been been wiped clean a couple of times, he has some issues with ventilation and makes more noise than a lawn mower, plus he refuses to charge his battery and thus must always be plugged in, but he is my only hope, so I make do. Most of the time.

A couple of weeks ago he decided to not close down after an update. I made sure he had power, so he didn’t close on accident and went to bed. Two days later he was still attempting to close down and I just had enough. I ranted and raved and yelled and demanded that he act normally.

foul demon

But nothing happened, so I just pulled the power cord. I know you are not supposed to do that, but I was at my wit’s end. So I let him  be for the night and decided to work on him the next day. He started up like a good little boy, but then he decided to tell me an update wasn’t properly installed – which yes, I knew, because I pulled the power from him – and then he just repeated his actions and never shut down. I keep repeating this process for a couple of days and nothing changes. I’m getting desperate and I try telling Charlie that this thing he is doing it’s not who he is!


But when that doesn’t change anything I start running various diagnostics test and F8, F12 and F2 the shit out of everything. I boot up The Hulk and ask Google all the questions and after a week of trying various things random people on message boards suggest I do, something finally happens. I still have no idea what I did and why it worked, but Charlie was alive and I simply did not care. I was ecstatic!

danceBut such joy was not to last, because when have I ever been that lucky? Once Charlie was booted up nice and good he decided that I didn’t need the internet. Nope, why would I ever want to use the internet?! He decided that my IP address didn’t have a valid IP configuration. I was once again pissed and tried everything the internet told me to try. Nothing. I rebooted Charlie and hoped he wouldn’t quit in the middle of the restart, but he turned on again with no problems. Yet I still didn’t have any internet and I was getting more annoyed by the minute because we were closing in on the third week with him out of commission.

not funnyThen I suddenly got limited internet access. I again have no idea how that happened or how to correct it so I would get full internet access, so I again shut him down and ignored him for a couple of days. I still had access to The Hulk and we were getting on really well, mostly because he didn’t require a power connection all the time. And then the other day I turned Charlie on again and bam! out of nowhere I had full internet access again!

I still hate Charlie for what he did to me, but he has been my friend for so long that parting with him would have been very sad indeed. But like me he is a stubborn creature who refused to give up even if it might be in his best interest.

keeps ticking


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