Yes, this is well overdue I know, I have promised Rikke and Diana this list for months. But, but, but… it is not as easy as it sounds. Firstly I have a brand that I need to comply with (something that is not going very well already, but I am trying), and trying to figure out if my choices of men will be especially hipster is proving much harder than I thought.
Secondly I feel I must try to embrace some form of diversity, so my list does not just end up with being a list of white privileged cis males (yes, I have been reading quite the amount of gender literature recently). One of the ways of doing this is to include a female(or if I ever have the time a whole list of females), something I do not find especially difficulty because specific genders has never been that high on the list of what attracts me. Since this does not seem like enough, I have also tried to include people of different racial backgrounds. I must admit that it was difficult, because apparently, most of the people I am exposed to in pop culture (the celebs) are white people, and since they are the majority in pop culture, they make up the majority of my list.
So without too much more ado (even though I am good at it) follows first my semi ranked list of males, and then my choice of female and voice.
(Just a little extra ado anyway – this list has been created and written and rewritten over months, so if something is incoherent it is because I have not caught it from one time to the next when I have been writing)
I have been trying to avoid putting him in number one, but since he is one of the few “awww” guys I continually mention on my blog, to my friends etc. and since two different people have assured me that I would be fooling myself if he did not feature prominently on my list, here he is. Number one is Chris Hemsworth. I have had a truckload of trouble trying to figure out why he should be especially hipster, but well at least he is not typical Hollywood. He is Australian, his muscle in Thor is all his, that he spend a lot of hard work putting on for the part, he is married and has three children, and there seem to be nothing bad to say about him from anyone, only that he works hard and is private and protective about his family. Well anti-Hollywood got to be good enough to be hipster.
But, bottom line, why is he number one? Because he is absolutely Adonis beautiful. He plays a god, and looks godlike doing it, and he has both a beautifully structured body, very pretty and regular features, and a nice smile 😉 The picture does not do him justice, but pictures rarely do, and I could have put up quite a few of this fellow.
I have a soft spot for Jason Statham the size of Minorca or another one of the Spanish isles. He is the epitome of a special type of British for me, the type that is working class, uses cunt not as a degrading word about women, but as a way to show their placement within the social order(calling your mates cunt etc.), that I just really like.
His looks reminds me of the looks of my boyfriend (is it really so hard to understand why I like it?). Stathams scruffy and rough and ready look, with a shaven head and a five o-clock shadow, is just right.
Oh, yes, the hipster explanation. Ehmm… Well on his way to fame he has been a male model, but did not make enough money from it, to not be forced into the family business of selling dubious perfumes etc. on street markets, so he is very hipster approved since he has felt the real life troubles this way? Well, it is a cool background story anyway, and we must not forget the very hipster fact that Jason Statham according to Wikipedia gets typecasted as an antihero. Well, with or without this, he is this lists number 2.
DISCLAIMER: After number 2, the ranking is pretty arbitrary, since those two was the only ones I actually knew where should be on the list, so I am not really willing to defend why someone is higher than someone else after this point, except from the reason, that this was the way it worked best today.
3. Jet Li
Yes, I know what you are thinking, but ever since I was first forced to watch Jet Li movies, and at the end started requesting that we should watch more Jet Li movies, well I have developed quite a big place in my heart for Jet Li. He is not as much a caricature of “an Asian” as I think Jackie Chan is. Jet Li plays interesting roles, and is a brilliant actor. In addition, he has the most amazing smile in show business. Some part of me warms up inside just from seeing him smile, and part of me starts hoping that it might be me he is smiling at. And even as he has gotten older, the smile remains the same. I know I have just given a guy the number three place on the list because of his smile, but no smile makes me react the way his does. And what could be a more hipster appropriate choice than a man, who as a child refused to become President Nixon’s bodyguard, because he did not want to protect individuals… So I give you, Jet Li, the most endearing smile in Hollywood (and before that in China).
4. Tim Minchin
This choice is obviously hipster, since Tim Minchin is hipster, period! With that out of the way this choice also highlights two things about me. One of the important features in a mate for me, is humor. And Tim Minchin is one of the funniest guys I know of. That, and my tendency in my teenage years to like lanky boys with makeup, something that Tim Minchin mocks, but looks really good while mocking. I still have something with the make up, I really think a lot of guys looks better in make up than without (is that prejudice when it is guys, since I know most people think girls looks better with make up?) Ohh and Minchin has long hair, another thing I like (even though this is very inconsistent since I also have a soft spot for bald men, and men with grey hair and, and, and…). None the less, Tim Minchin is one good looking comedian, that I also share my general worldview with, so it does not get much better than that…
5. Troy Polamalu
Yes, I know, some of you will be totally blank about who this guy is, but I promise you, go to the states and most people will know him. First and foremost he is one of the best strong safeties that has ever played in the NFL, and he is still playing for the Pittsburgh Steelers, where he is a force to be reckoned with. He is one of the most hard hitting players, and watching him play is always a joy because he is all over the field, and he moves with so much athleticism, that it sometimes becomes almost dancelike to watch. But while he hits hard, and is one of the most feared on field, off field he has this very pleasant light voice, enjoys binding flowers and playing the piano, and seems so calm and in balance with himself that it is almost scary. Most importantly, he looks really great. I love the dark curly long hair (he does commercials for head and shoulders which are quite funny), I love his beautiful body, and his shy smile. He is a very nice blend between hyper masculinity, but with some nice feminine features. I am not certain he is a very hipster choice, but then again, many people outside the states will not know who he is, and that actually makes him kind of an obvious hipster choice.
6. Peter Dinklage
Well, liking dwarfs is with all probability very hipster, so very nice going me. But for once I really want to argue that it has NOTHING to do with why he is on the list, it is just a nice afterthought. He was actually one of the first people I thought of when I had to do this list. Because I think he is really good looking, and no one can make me cry, hope, laugh, scream at the screen, feel hopelessness, get indignant on the whole of humanity because of their conformity norms, and much much more like he does. I know he is not Tyrion Lannister, but he portrays the character as a whole person, someone I could definitively fall in love with. And he looks good doing it. For all this he deserves a spot on my list.
7. Samuel L. Jackson
I am not sure if I could have made a list without Samuel L. Jackson, and specifically, Samuel L. Jackson in a kilt from Formula 51. I have always loved Samuel L. Jackson, and his look, and especially in Formula 51, he is just looking so good, that I almost start to drool. Which is why the picture is from the movie, because it is just the epitome of being HOT. Samuel L. Jackson is by the way also the perfect hipster choice since he is the voice actor on the under appreciated piece of children’s literature that is “Go the fuck to sleep”.
8. Nick Cave
Another testament to men in make up with long hair. Nick Cave is the epitome of the type of rock look that I really like. The “I don’t care about how people think I look” look, that with all probability takes a lot of carefully thought out styling to do anyway. And behind this look is a man that just have the most amazing facial bone structure. Ohh, and his voice is to die for, basically he could have looked like shit, as soon as he would have opened his mouth I would have totally forgotten how he looks, because the voice is just amazing. Yes, and Nick Cave requires no hipster explanation since he is hipster canon.
9. George Clooney
I have been a great follower of everything Clooney since Batman and Robin, which I loved, because I had never seen a real Batman movie before, and because 12 year olds has horrible taste in movies. But my love for George Clooney has never vanished. I do not think I have ever seen him on screen (as himself or acting), without I have made an almost silent sigh, because he is just so amazing. I can really not tell you why, besides from my fetish with grey hair, I do not know why I like him so much, but I just do. He really is a full package of good looks, great personality and great acting skills. And it is very hipster to like Batman, just so you know (not Nolans Batman, that is mainstream) 😛
10. Clay Matthews
If you have any problem with figuring out why he is on the list, scroll up to number one, and then down here again, and then you should know. Clay Matthews is one of the most amazing defense players of our time, at least in the way he makes everything looks easy, when he tackles or sacks. He is also known for having one of the most recognizable celebrations, that just looks scary when he does it
As to his hipster credentials, in 2012 he modeled and wore an adult incontinence brief under his uniform, for the benefit of a charity. He got his place in college by his own academic credentials, and with pay, and not with the usual sports scholarship. This was because he did not do well (he was physically undersized – something he sure is not anymore) in high school, to a point where his dad who coached the high school team, did not let him start any games. For all these reasons, and because he is the closest I will ever get to a real life Thor, Clay makes the list.
11. Captain Jack Sparrow/Johnny Depp
This is a bit of an odd choice, because I do not in particular like Johnny Depps looks. I think he is a brilliant actor, and I am sure that he would be one of the most interesting people I would ever meet, if I met him. But there is one particular place in time, where Johnny Depp, besides all this, also has a certain something that just makes me tick. It is when he is dressed and is acting as Captain Jack Sparrow. I know; it is me combining a really interesting person with my love for long hair and black make up. He is just all that as Captain Jack Sparrow, but I know I am not the only one who feels this way.
I do not need to give any reasons for Johnny Depp being hipster, he works together regularly with Tim Burton, he loves dress up in all his roles, he likes to play quirky weird types, and when he is not in character, he himself if the epitome of hipster. ‘Nuff said!
12. Sammy Davis Junior
He once called himself the ugliest man that has ever been hit by a shovel. This might not be entirely wrong. But besides from this, and the fact that he is dead, if I could chose only one man on the list and get a “freebee”, I would probably chose him. This is a man with so much charisma, that I never had thought that he was ugly, before people pointed it out to me. I just do not see it because of his charisma, and of course because of his voice. It is my boyfriend who has taught me to love crooner music, but if there is one crooner I particularly like, it is him. I love his voice, his way of interpreting lyrics, and his talk/singing. Mr. Bojangles with him singing it, can always make me feel melancholic, and I feel like I gain a deeper understanding of the song, when he is singing it. The hipster reasons, well old music is somewhat hipster, and this guy describes himself as a “One eyed Negro-Jew”, this is a very hipsteresque minor minority. And at a point in his life he appeared in japanese commercials for coffee.
13. Thor Hushovd
This is one of the guys who got on the list late, because I have had this list lying around for ages, before finishing it, and when I sat down to do it, suddenly he had to be on my list. I have a very soft spot for international cycling, and he is one of my favorite cyclists. He is stopping his career after this season, but he is dropping in on my list anyway. He has got the Nordic look going on again (he is Norwegian so it is no wonder), and he is just both good looking and really interesting. He is also great with his fans, and often invites people to come cycling with him on Instagram or Twitter, and then posts the pictures of him and people riding around Norway (yes I have him on both Instagram and Twitter – so sue me. His is also very eloquent and has a very sweet Norwegian accent. And well he is an international cyclist, that in itself is a very hipster approved sport.
14. Warren Sapp
This guy is here because of his smile – and because of all the Sundays I have spend looking at him talking about NFL in gameday morning before the games begin (This preshow is around 6 hours long). I did not watch NFL when he was an active player, so to me he is just the guy with the amazing smile, and with the great thoughts on everything football(and not football) – and he is funny. He makes me happy just by looking at him, and not a lot of guys can do that. For that he makes my list. If we are going more hipster like, he has been so irresponsible that in 2012 he had to file for bankruptcy, in spite of all the money he has made in his football career and as a commentator. This must be something at least some hipsters can relate to. And he has helped raise awareness of sleep apnea, and the importance of getting tested for it, an obscure disease with the main symptom being snoring, I would say this is a very hipster thing to do, in line with “you probably haven’t heard about it”.
15. Joaquin Phoenix
This is a relative newfound love. Or more correctly, a more new found realization of the fact that I love Joaquin Phoenix as an actor. I think he is both mesmerizing and intense in his acting, and the more things I watch with this guy, the more I like him. So this paired with the fact that he has the most amazing and intense eyes in Hollywood, makes him end up on this list. The hipster reason – have you seen him in “Her”? – If you have, you know what I mean, if you have not, well there you go, he is in a movie you do not know about – very hipster. And if this is not enough, he has had a lead role in a Paul Thomas Anderson film, which should settle this. If this is not enough, he has once told everyone that he was stopping his career to pursue rapping, and was wildly incoherent and weird on a Letterman show, while much later revealing that this was all bullshit, that he did, because he and Casey Affleck needed the scenes for a mockumentary.
16. Benedict Cumberbatch
Since no one else want him on their list, well then I will. I think he is amazing looking, and seems both funny intelligent and full of charisma. What’s not to like. And well – for the hipster reasons, and also one of my own reasons, he plays Sherlock for crying out loud. What is there else to say?
17. Eddie Izzard
Ehmm this is like a very weird mix between my affinity for the Nordic looks, and well – make up. The guy is occasionally a drag queen, but a really well dressed and good looking one. And I have always liked Eddie Izzard. He is funny, he has my all time favorite quote on the stupidity of Americas gun laws (Guns don’t kill people, people kill people…and monkeys do too (if they got a gun)), he is an atheist, and well he just looks amazing, even in high heels. What is there not to absolutely adore? (No need for hipster reasons – the once I gave first are pretty hipster all on their own)
18. Daniel Boys
This is a bit out of my normal comfort zone, lookswise. He is a bit of a pretty boy, but he is also just a big goofball, and sings like an angel, and I still think Andrew Lloyd Webber made a mistake when he did not make him the star of Joseph. But that was my luck because I got to see him several times in Avenue Q instead, where he was adorable, and sang like there was no tomorrow. If we need to go a bit more hipster, he is gay? And he does a lot of work together with John Barrowman, which gives him an almost Doctor Whoish feel. And uhh if you can not figure this out from the previously, he is a musical star from West End.
19. Norm Lewis
Another musical star, but this one American, even if he does thread his daily steps on West End, or at least he did for a long while. I have loved him as Javert, loved his acting skills, and his wonderful voice. And he is a beautiful looking man. For all these reasons he ends up on the list. And for hipster credibility, well he is a musical actor, that most of the people entering this site will not know by name, that is inherently hipster.
20. Hugh Laurie
Hugh Laurie is British, he is funny, he is a long time friend of Stephen Fry, his most famous character is an atheist (as is he as far as I know) and he is one handsome piece of man. What is there not to like. This is why he has gotten the last place on this list, because I just could not exclude him. He is also just very good at being punched on camera, according to Stephen Fry, you could almost say he is punchable. All this makes him perfect, hipster or not, for my list.
Lady – Kate Winslet
I always wanted to look like Kate Winslet, failing that, I would never had said no when I was single to “doing her”. She is amazingly pretty and sexy, and has some stunning curves, and a wonderful smile. And since Diana has taken Jennifer Lawrence, then Kate Winslet will be mine.
Voice – Richard Dawkins
This was a tough tough tough choice, and I wanted both Stephen Fry, Jim Dale and Stephen Briggs on my list. But when it came down to it, I just love listening to Richard Dawkins, especially reading his own books to me when I am going to sleep. His accent and his tone of voice is just soothing and special to me. I have put a link of him and his wife Lalla Ward doing a book reading where you can get a taste of his voice work. Ohh and I love his books, his lectures, his talks and almost everything he does.