Stop giving me labels.

The strange thing here is that some people actually like being told how to live their lives. Some people are just content. You know the ones; we all do.

I for one have one particular friends who’s only goal in life is to never be alone. She has no intention of ever being something for herself, which also means that the very few times she is actually single I have to go through hours of questions towards my choice to be single. Not that it is a specific choice I’ve made that my life is all about being single; I just don’t want it to be about not being it. I’m not really sure that sentence made sense, but it does to me. I’m having all of these thoughts because this friend has become single again, and the first things she does is stamp me as single. I hate it; I don’t want my relationship status – or lack of such – to define who I am. Ignorant? Maybe! I just like to think that I’m me because I just am. Because I don’t let people change me. I have friends – yourself included – that brings out specific sides of me, but I consider us friends because you don’t expect me to be single or some other label when we are together. I consider you my friend because we just are. Because there are no labels. I consider you so complicated and personal that even if I think hard about it I cannot find a label to put on you.

Sorry, I’m ranting… Back to my labelling friend.

I don’t know how not to be honest. That is the one thing I’ve promised myself I’d always be with my friends. So what do I do, when a person I’m so different from in our basic view upon the world, asks me if I think it is to early her ex-boyfriend has slept with someone new? Well I ended up telling her – in the nicest way I could come up with – that no I don’t. And I’m not doing this because I’m not a loyal friend; on the contrary. I did that because I can’t sit through another one way conversation where she asks me a bunch of rhetorical questions about what I think, expecting me to confirm her decisions. When it all comes down to it she does that because for so long she has not made a single decision for herself. And I am convinced she likes being told what to do.

So when you write that you get used to being alone really quickly, I get it. I feel the same way. She doesn’t. She will never be alone, if I’m honest I think it all comes down to whether or not we like who we are. If you don’t like yourself, then you’ll never be comfortable being alone with yourself.


One Comment Add yours

  1. I’m bewildered at the thought of someone harboring a healthy relationship when they are not comfortable with who they truly are or what they stand for. I hope your friend finds her way..

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